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Tu vs Vous
Use tu with one person you are on familiar terms with — family, friends, children, fellow students — and vous with adult strangers, in formal or professional settings, and always when speaking to more than one person. That is the whole rule; everything else on this page is about reading situations, because choosing between tu and vous is a social decision, not a grammar one.
English dropped this distinction centuries ago ("thou" was its tu), so you are not missing a grammatical instinct — you are learning a piece of French etiquette. Map the common situations once, learn the repair phrase, and you can stop worrying.
In short
- Tu = one person you are close to: family, friends, children.
- Vous = one person you keep a polite distance from — and any group of two or more, however close.
- Unsure with one adult? Start with vous and let them offer tu.
tu (informal)vous (formal or plural)· hover a highlighted word for its label
The decision guide, situation by situation
Both words mean "you", and both are subject pronouns — the full cast is covered in our subject pronouns guide. Which one you pick signals how you place the other person: tu says "we are on familiar ground", vous says "I am keeping a respectful distance". Here is the map most French speakers carry in their heads:
| You are talking to | Say |
|---|---|
| an adult stranger (street, train, counter) | vous |
| staff in shops, cafés, restaurants | vous |
| your boss, a client, a doctor | vous, until offered tu |
| colleagues your own age | tu in most teams |
| friends, family, fellow students | tu |
| children and teenagers | tu |
| strangers online (forums, gaming, social media) | tu almost everywhere |
| two or more people, whoever they are | vous, always |
Excuse me, do you have the time?
— An adult stranger gets vous, however friendly the tone.
Do you want a coffee?
— Friends and family are tu territory.
Would you like anything else, madam?
— Service settings stay vous in both directions.
Vous is also the plural
Vous does double duty: it is the polite singular and the only way to address a group. Two or more people are vous even if you say tu to each of them individually — there is no "informal plural" in French.
Marie, Thomas, are you coming on Saturday?
— Two people are always vous, even two close friends.
Do you live here?
— Alone, this could be one polite person or a whole group — only context tells you.
One person, plural verb: how vous agrees
Whether vous means one polite person or five people, the verb is always the vous form: vous parlez, vous avez, vous êtes. What changes is everything around the verb: adjectives and past participles agree with the real people in front of you. So you ask one woman vous êtes prête ? — plural-looking verb, feminine singular adjective. Building the verb forms themselves is the present tense guide’s job; here you only need the principle.
Are you ready, Léo?
Are you ready, madam?
— Vous-form verb, but the adjective stays feminine singular — one person.
The switching ritual
Relationships move from vous to tu through a small, explicit ritual: one person proposes the switch, the other accepts, and from then on it is tu in both directions. French even has verbs for it: tutoyer (to say tu to someone) and vouvoyer (to say vous). Convention says the proposal comes from the senior side — the older person, the boss, the host. As the newcomer or the junior, you wait to be offered.
Shall we switch to tu?
— The standard proposal — phrased as a question, never an announcement.
You can use tu with me, you know.
— The other common form of the offer — it already uses tu to show the door is open.
What French people actually do today
The map above is the safe default, but usage keeps drifting toward tu. In tech companies, startups and most young teams, colleagues use tu from day one; many other offices switch within the first week. Online, tu is the default almost everywhere. On the other side, shops, administration, doctors and anyone visibly older than you remain firmly vous. When in doubt, remember the asymmetry: an unnecessary vous is almost never insulting, an unwanted tu occasionally is.
Here, everyone uses tu.
— A sentence you will hear on your first day in many French workplaces.
Common mistakes
✗Pardon, monsieur, tu peux m’aider ?
✓Pardon, monsieur, vous pouvez m’aider ?
An adult stranger — especially an older one — always gets vous; tu here sounds rude or childlike, whatever your intention.
✗Vous as raison, madame.
✓Vous avez raison, madame.
Even when vous refers to a single person, the verb always takes the vous form — never the tu form.
✗Papa, maman, tu arrives ?
✓Papa, maman, vous arrivez ?
A group is always vous — even when it is made of two people you call tu individually.
✗Vous êtes très gentilles, madame.
✓Vous êtes très gentille, madame.
The vous verb form is fixed, but adjectives agree with the real person: one woman = feminine singular.
✗Alors, mon grand, vous voulez un jus ?
✓Alors, mon grand, tu veux un jus ?
Children are always tu; vous to a small child sounds like a joke, and the affectionate « mon grand » makes the mismatch obvious.
Check yourself
1 / 4Pardon, monsieur, ___ où se trouve la gare ?
2 / 4Les filles, ___ jouer dehors ?
3 / 4Madame Dupont, vous êtes ___ ce soir ?
4 / 4Your new colleague says « On se tutoie ? » and you accept. What do you say next time you need help?
Frequently asked questions
What happens if I use tu when I should have said vous?
Usually nothing: French people hear that you are learning and forgive it instantly. If you want to repair it, a light "Pardon, je devrais vous vouvoyer" and a switch back to vous settles the matter — and friendly people will often answer "tu peux me tutoyer".
Is it ever rude to use vous?
Almost never — vous is the safe mistake. The only real risk is with close friends or family, where insisting on vous can sound distant, or like a private joke.
Who is supposed to offer the switch from vous to tu?
The senior side of the relationship: the older person, the manager, the host. If you are the junior or the newcomer, wait for the offer rather than making it yourself.
Is vous singular or plural?
Both. Vous is the only pronoun for a group of two or more, and it is also the polite way to address one person. The verb takes the same vous form in both cases; only adjectives reveal the real number.
Do French workplaces really use tu now?
Increasingly, yes — in tech and most young teams, tu is standard from day one. Traditional sectors, official settings and client relationships still default to vous, so let your colleagues set the tone.
Memory tip
When you hesitate with one adult, choose vous. The worst outcome of an unnecessary vous is a smiling « on peut se tutoyer » — the worst outcome of a wrong tu is a frown.
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